Seperated By Miles, Joined By Heart... | rubixskube's Blog

I am so happy with my life these days....!! I have well and truly turned a corner when I had convinced myself that I was on a one-way straight road to self-destruction.

Why...? I hear you ask...? --- I'm in love...!!! :))

I have met a girl on EP, who is everything I have ever hoped for in a girl and more... all it took was a comment on a mutual experience. We got talking, and our conversations became Facebook messages, voice messages, songs and photos... we have gotten to know each other so well, and share so much in our lives. She is the one person in my life I can say genuinely understands me, who can make me smile no matter how dark my mood. She is the one that makes all the bad thoughts and feelings disappear in a heartbeat --- and should we not talk for even a day..... it feels like years, and we miss each other like crazy.

The crazy thing is, we both ended up on EP in exactly the same way... we both googled 'I Hate Myself' during dark periods in our lives, and we ended up here. I genuinely do not know why she sees herself as being so ugly and unattractive, because she is anything but --- she is a physically and mentally beautiful human being, and I'm determined to make her believe that, to see herself as I do. 

Here's the obstacle to our relationship, well... not really a massive obstacle, I call it more 'a catch'....  nothing that can't be overcome. I am in England, she is in South Africa. We have discussed either her visiting me mid-next year, or me visiting her... I feel such a connection to her on so many levels, and I am determined not to let the opportunity of a lifetime slip away. It is my belief that if a girl falls for you, you should always be there to catch her. My greatest fear is that when we do meet, that I'll be a disappointment to her... it haunts my thoughts every day. I love her with every ounce of my soul, but part of me believes she is too beautiful for me, and that she could do so much better.... she assures me that she loves me, and nothing will stand in our way, so much so... that we now refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend, long distance... for now.

So hopefully, here's to a long and happy future with the girl I consider the love of my life, I guess only time will tell :)